If you’ve read through my website, you know that one of the things I love is Mary Morrissey’s Dream Builder Program. It’s a psycho-spiritual approach to how to achieve our dreams while letting go of the “condition-based thinking” so prevalent in our culture. (“Oh, you can’t do that because you’re not tall enough…. Or because you don’t have the money…. Or the education…. Or the right connections… Or, or, or….") Mary outlines many things to do to advance us in the direction of our dreams, including emotional work to clear us of energy that can interfere with our goals. It makes sense, right? -- that if we’re expending a lot of energy in resentments or overwhelm about emotional issues – whether old or current – there is not nearly as much energy available to us to apply towards what we want to achieve in our lives.
Coming from this approach, Mary devotes several CDs to the topic of emotional resolutions. In one of them, she tells a story about the power of prayer that I want to use to illustrate how using prayer, even if it’s towards people we are sure we just can’t stand, can create a shift.
Her story is about a man who had a history of responding with violence to things or people he didn’t like. As a result of this pattern, he ended up serving prison time. As Mary recounts it, the man was in prison at one point and realized, “If I keep doing the same things over and over, I am going to keep getting the same results.” He made a decision to change and, while in prison, embarked on a program of self-help. It was successful in creating a change in him that he wanted to maintain.
On release from prison he found a woman with whom he fell deeply in love and they married. After many years, the marriage began disintegrating. They separated. But even with the separation, his intentions were to do whatever he could to get her back and save the marriage. He persisted in this endeavor despite the wife telling him she was over the marriage and didn’t want to reconcile.
As life unfolded, the man found out that during the time of their separation, and even for while before it, his wife had entered into an affair with his best friend.
As you can imagine, this was a HUGE blow to him! His first response was to revert to old behavior: “I’m gonna find him (his friend) and take him out!” Yet he was able to reject that course of action and seek out Mary instead. Even while deeply embroiled in his emotional reaction, there was still a part of him that wanted to deal with it in a different manner.
Mary says that after hearing what had happened, she ended up telling the man, “If you don’t want to risk going back to prison – and that may be actual prison if you act on your immediate reaction to this – or, if not that, you will remain locked in the emotional prison of your rage, betrayal and negative emotions – you have one way out. You have to pray for your best friend.”
Of course he was outraged. “Pray for that SOB? I don’t want to pray for him! I want to cause him serious harm!”
Mary’s response was that yes, he wasn’t going to WANT to pray for his friend – but that he must do that if he was to get through the intense unpleasant emotions wracking his existence at the time. And she told him this: “You can start the prayer any way you want to. Just fit in there, even if it’s at the end, that you wish him well and want him to be happy. Why? Because that is the energy you want for yourself! YOU don’t want to stay bitter and hateful, right? That’s why you came to me seeking a different way. Just remember, you can start the prayer any way you want to – but put in there somewhere that you wish him good things.”
So the man (who must have swallowed very hard to take action on this suggestion), went away from his session with Mary and started to pray for the man who’d betrayed him with his wife. After a couple weeks he returned to Mary – who says she could see a real change in him. The rage and tension that had been visible in him at the first visit were gone. He told her what had transpired:
“I did like you told me. And this was how I’d start my prayer: ‘If a truck doesn’t smash him flat first, may he be well and happy.’ Or, ‘If a train doesn’t run over him and break both his legs, maybe he could be happy and do well.’ And after a couple weeks I began to realize that he really had been my best friend and there were things about him that I really liked – not that he’d been dishonest with me and gone behind my back with my wife – but several other things – so why would I not want him to be happy? And I really did love my wife, so wouldn’t I want her to be happy and to do well in life? My thinking and feelings began to change -- the hatred and rage I was feeling decreased and the sting of the whole thing that was so intense at first had disappeared.”
Well…. What a profound change! And Mary claims it happened in just a few short weeks! AND… he didn’t even have to start out the prayers lovingly for that shift to occur!
So… If the outcome of the 2016 election and the direction the new President is taking the country cause you undesirable emotional turmoil, I’ll encourage you to consider dealing with your feelings from the level above where they exist. Do some prayer -- start it any way you want, but add in the intention for the best for us all at some point. Do some visualization. See all people living with respect, cooperation, understanding and goodwill towards each other. When you breathe, on the exhale send out lovingkindness and benevolence to all. Maybe even try some forgiveness, if there’s a situation in which it would be appropriate.
And always remember: Every little bit counts! Trust that it’s having an effect even if you can’t see it.
Thanks for doing your part.
Susan C. Moyer, MSW
Is a sound healer and transformational coach. She has 25+ years experience in using alternate states of consciousness to access deeper healing on all levels: physical, psychological, mental and spiritual.